Friends & Brothers
The statement, “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me” has double wisdom attached to it. On one hand, would you rather take a rock to the face or have someone call you a derogatory name? On the other hand, if you were insecure and dealt with inner fear and someone exposed that publicly in front of you and others, that wound may be deep and last longer than a few stitches!
So what can we conclude from this non-proverb? First of all, I don’t know about you, but people coming after me with sticks and stones has never happened. Not saying I wasn’t in a few fist fights in grade school. I remember a few times getting in a “dust up” and let’s just say the tide was turning in the other kid’s favor. But I had a friend and my twin brother with me as back up so as to not let things get too out of hand.
Yet, hurtful words spoken to me and behind my back have hurt me, causing every range of emotion to raise its head and be wrestled to the ground. To be fair, I also have spoken words to others and behind others, and to be honest, with intent at times to wound a bit. The truth hurts and sometimes we want others to feel and experience what their spoken words and actions have done.
I love the real proverb, “The prudent sees danger and hides himself, but the simple go on and suffer for it” (Proverbs 22:3). The question is, do we have back-up for either scenario?
Life is a fight. The Bible even instructs us to “put up the good fight of faith!” (1 Timothy 6:12). So, if fighting for our lives is normal, and even perhaps a recurring theme, how do we then position ourselves for more victories than defeats, as well as minimize the detrimental outcomes? The answer is with friends and brothers.
Let’s look at these three verses:
Proverbs 17:17, “A friend loves at all times and a brother is born for adversity.”
Psalm 133:1, “How good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity!”
Ecclesiastes 4:12, “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”
Here’s why we need friends and brothers:
We need to be known.
We need back-up.
We need friends and brothers to speak the truth they know of us, in the face of uncertainty and lies surrounding us.
Because they will need us!
Because we need them to call us up, not out, when we are out of alignment with God and ourselves.
Because in unity we experience joy.
Because our victories and defeats weren’t meant to be experienced alone.
Because we can’t see it all.
Because it is our privilege and honor to lay down our lives for one another.
Brotherhood is born out of friendship. If you don’t have a band of brothers who can stand with you in your fight, then check your friendship reserves.
I want to exhort us to be friend-worthy — the type of people who attract the trust and transparency necessary for healthy friendships to occur. We need to be willing to be present as well as prepared to speak the truth in love.
Are you friend-worthy? Are you willing to be your brother's keeper?
Selah!
Dan Daugherty